Holidays from Home

I’ve always got ideas of what I want to do, a general view of where I want to be and what I want to be doing; but often the daily to do lists can get in the way of working towards the big goals. Today I went to a meeting of NINny (Norwich Independent Network) and we were focused on goal setting for 2012. We ignored the fact that it was nearly March, writing January and February off as sleepy months.

It was interesting hearing how vague everyone was, how hard they (like me) found it to pin themselves down to a specific goal within a time frame. It’s scary making a statement that this is what you are going to achieve by this date, the fear of failure is enormous, which I guess is why it’s so much easier to stay vague, so you don’t get disappointed; but you also don’t have the ability to measure your success and appreciate your achievements.

Somebody pointed out that it’s okay to change your goals, just because you write it down doesn’t mean you have to do it, if things change or you’ve been over ambitious you can alter it as you learn. It seems obvious; but I had never thought of it that way, it just seemed like a failure if you didn’t do it and who wants to set themselves up for failure?

I think setting a goal pushes you to reach a bit higher, aim for slightly more and maybe go bigger than you would otherwise, because whatever the outcome you will achieve something, learn and grow just by following your dream.

Apparently just by writing a goal down, you are more likely to achieve it. Your subconscious automatically starts working on the problem and looking for solutions – sounds good to me. So here goes – my goal is to produce and sell 500 of the virtual London holidays by 27th July (the first day of the Olympics). It’s scary to write it down; but I just think of each of those 500 sales as people who can’t travel; but who could really benefit from the virtual holidays. People like me, who are stuck at home and frustrated about that. Fed up of watching the rest of the world living the life that they are meant to have. They, like me, want to do something, anything, to have fun, despite being at home.

The goal is set, now to make it happen!

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I don’t really talk about my life with ME/CFS, it doesn’t seem relevant. That seems pretty dumb logic  since the whole idea came from being ill.  I do tell people how I came up with the virtual holidays, I have to, just to explain how the six years spent in bed  gave rise to the idea of virtual holidays and parties. I gloss over the reality of how hard it was and how hard it still is, because I don’t feel like it’s important, at least not to Holidays From Home and does anybody really want to know anyway? I was worried that people might think I was using a sob-story about being ill for eighteen years, just to get attention, when that’s not it at all. I want to use those eighteen years to help other people going through similar things. I want to help them avoid some of the suffering, hurt and frustration that I’ve had to deal with.

I’ve also been worried that  Holidays From Home will be judged, seen as less than somehow because I’m not “normal” and I can’t do everything that everybody else can. I’ve seen my illness as a weakness and I assumed that other people would too.

My illness is part of my other life, the part that people don’t see and up until now I have tried very hard to keep the two things very separate. People assume that I must be better now, that everything is back to normal and that’s my fault because I hide my illness. I don’t tell people that I can only spend an hour or two a day on Holidays From Home, because I feel like that says I’m not trying hard enough, or that I’m lazy, not that I physically can’t do more without making myself very ill. If people call in the afternoon, when I’m having my three hour sleep, that I need just to get through the day, then I get my Mum to tell them I’m out or in a meeting. Oh yes I work from home and still live with my Mum because I’m not well enough to look after myself. That just feels so embarrassing to admit. I work hard to appear “normal” because somehow appearing to be disabled seems like a crime, like admitting that I’m not as good as everyone else. Maybe that’s down to society, or even my own prejudices.

The truth is I’m still pretty much housebound and life is a constant balancing act between what I can physically do and how much resting I need to do, to make sure that I don’t relapse. I have become very good at pacing, the skill of balancing out activity and rest periods, so that you don’t use up all your energy and make yourself ill. I don’t always get it right and sometimes I ignore the signs because there’s things I need or want to do. I pushed myself for the virtual Valentine’s Day and I’m now suffering the consequences, having to take some time off to rest and let my energy levels and body recover.

I’m not complaining, I knew what I was doing and it’s worth being careful so that I start to feel better. I use the majority of my energy on Holidays From Home because I love it, it’s fun and rewarding and even if it is only for an hour, maybe two a day, it’s still worth the hours of resting and sleeping I need to do to be able to cope with it.

The hardest part I find is accepting my limits, I wish I could be doing more on Holidays From Home, my to do list is long; but my dreams and ideas are so big that it’s really hard I push myself. It’s frustrating when I’m so fired up with ideas of what I would like to be doing for the virtual London holiday and the Diamond Jubilee celebrations I have planned. I get annoyed that my body can’t keep up with my mind. I don’t want to admit, even to myself that I’m not able to do everything that everyone else can; but I do know that I have strengths because of my illness, insights that make me and Holidays From Home stronger. My illness is not my choice, it’s not who I am; but it is a part of my life. If I could get rid of it I’d do it in a heartbeat; but until they find a cure then I need to stop pretending it doesn’t exist.

I’ve been reading a lot about being who you really are, accepting it and not being ashamed, so I guess this is me putting it out there. My name’s Claire, I have ME and I won’t apologise for it anymore, even to myself.

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Tonight I went to my first meeting at a new Norwich Network. I was nervous; but excited too. I had high hopes, something about the group just felt right. I was not disappointed!

I was greeted by a group of lovely people, who were all warm, friendly and welcoming. I instantly felt relaxed and at home. The first meet up was just a social with an introduction; but I got so much just from that. People were so kind and enthusiastic about Holidays From Home, it was really encouraging. They had ideas of things I could do and suggestions on how I could use Twitter more. I was caught up in their excitement and it was lovely to hear about other people’s businesses too.

The next meet up will be on goal setting for 2012, which I think is going to be brilliant. I love the fact that everybody has a unique business; but they all have similarities and the different experiences and backgrounds of people works well together. I enjoy being in contact with people who are motivated, have passion and big ideas. I believe that you can achieve so much more with the support, encouragement and enthusiasm of others, than you can on your own.

The group is exactly what I’ve been looking for, with people I can see becoming good friends, not just contacts. I’m exhausted now; but so grateful that I found them!

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The summer holidays can be a really hard time if you’re stuck at home. Everybody seems to be jetting off to somewhere exotic. Postcards keep coming through the door, with “Wish you were here.” Yeah I wish I was too, shame I’m housebound and can’t even begin to think about going away on holiday.

This year the pressure will be even worse, with the world and his wife talking about London and the Olympics. Whether you’re a sports fan or not, London and the 2012 games is going to be everywhere! The way I see it is if you can’t beat them, join them. If you can’t join them, go virtually!

That’s why this summer I’m organising a virtual trip to London and thought you might like to come too. What’s a virtual holiday, I hear you ask? Well I’ve found that with some clever writing, beautiful photographs and a touch of imagination, you can transport yourself anywhere you want, without ever moving a muscle. Think part story, part guided mediation; but much more fun and exciting, because it’s your adventure. You can see an example of a virtual trip at http://holidaysfromhome.co.uk/blog/virtual-day-trip-2/switzerland/

On our virtual holiday we’re going to be doing the classic tourist thing – exploring London, “visiting” the sites through the special virtual guide, as well as web cameras, online museums and virtual tours. The London Eye, Buckingham Palace, the museums are all on our itinerary, plus many more. I’m really looking forward to “going” to see a show in the West End; it’s a great excuse to dress up and with the help of some films to watch at home, it’s going to be a night to remember.

During the virtual holiday there will be things to do both on and off the computer, lots of virtual experience that will help you imagine being in London. There’s also fun trivia, quizzes, crafts to make and recipes to try, as well as an exclusive chat area, to share your experiences with other virtual travellers.

You’ll be able to do as much or as little as you want and still feel part of the holiday. You can share the holiday with friends, family and other virtual travellers, so you don’t feel quite so alone and bored. The holiday can be paced, so perfect for resting. The great part is you never have to leave home to do it, all the holiday contents can be accessed online and downloaded to either print off or listen to on an mp3 player.

I came up with the idea because I was bed bound for six years with severe ME and I’m now house bound. I like to think of myself as a social butterfly, the type of person who would be out travelling, partying and generally having a life if I wasn’t stuck at home with this horrible illness.

My first virtual holiday was to Greece when my family went away and left me and my Mum at home. We did things like ate feta and olives, threw paper plates (safer in a bedroom than china ones) and even paddled in a foot spa, pretending it was the sea. It wasn’t a replacement for a “real” holiday; but it was the closest I could get. I had so much fun and it was such a brilliant distraction I decided to create Holidays From Home, as a social enterprise, doing virtual holidays for other people.

“I adored my trip to New York with Holidays From Home, from the moment I signed up, I was captivated. We ‘flew’ to New York City, went shopping, had cocktails, and went sight-seeing. My mother and sisters went to New York recently and I wasn’t well enough to go. But with Holidays From Home I was able to feel included. I could join in the conversations and discuss my experience of my ‘virtual’ trip.” Grace Quantock, Wales, living with multiple disabilities/ autoimmune conditions.

If you want something fun to do this summer, a way to pass the time and to create some great memories of your own in 2012, then come to virtual London with me. It’s going to be fun and fabulous!

To book your virtual holiday go here…

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Today was the virtual Valentine’s Day party and it was fabulous. I have to admit I woke up with a bit of a Valentine’s wobble, wondering why am I doing this, I’m tired and I’ve kind of had enough of love, I wish I could just forget it was Valentine’s Day – the exact feelings I’d created the party to prevent other people from feeling!

I was greeted by a fab bag of presies from my Mum, including a heart mug, some jammie dodgers, heart sweets and a necklace. It was a lovely surprise and just having somebody show they cared meant a lot. The first sign that love comes in many forms.

I then threw myself into the virtual party and have had such a lovely time, it’s made all the hard work worthwhile. The best part has been the interactions online with the other party goers. The general consensus was that the Cupid style archery got the thumbs up for being both romantic and anti-romantic at the same time. The virtual rose garden was a hit with people posting their own photos of roses in their garden.

It was so good to be able to chat to people who understood, who appreciated what it was like to be home for Valentine’s Day and we talked about anything and everything from the virtual party, to life in general, hobbies, family, all the usual things you would talk about at a party. We may have been typing; but it felt like a real conversation, a proper meaningful interaction between people all over the world. I felt surrounded by old and new friends and that sense of loneliness, so common with being single and alone at Valentine’s Day, slipped away somewhere around 10.30 am this morning and never returned.

I feel happy and relaxed now after a day with friends. Friendship really is one of the most important forms of love. It’s the most fun I’ve ever had on Valentine’s Day and I am already looking forward to next year.

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We all live to escape, whether it’s through books, television, films, the theatre, music, art, video games, the imagination, even travel. We lose ourselves in another world, a world where things are different, where somebody else has the highs and lows, where we can watch from afar, safe from the hurt and heartbreak. As humans we’ve been doing it for as long as we’ve been telling each other stories, passing on tribal law or ancient legends. We enjoy living vicariously through others, it brings us joy and adventure in a controlled environment. Society is founded on our desire to escape from reality.

We spend billions of pounds every year to escape from the lives we have. Does it bring happiness? Absolutely. Does it allow us to cope with the pain and the fear of the great unknown we face every day? Definitely. Does it bring long-lasting satisfaction? No.

It’s why we always crave more, another good book, the latest film, the next episode on television. The need to escape is like an addiction, you need the next fix, the next installment to get you through the day, through your life. Take it all away, the books, music, films, everything and make everybody go cold turkey, living reality 24/7 and the world would come to a screeching halt. I don’t believe we’d be able to function without it.

Is it wrong to want to escape? I don’t think so, because of my ME, I’ve spent the majority of my life wishing I was somewhere else, living another life. In fact the whole point of Holidays From Home is the ability to escape your reality and go to another place, it’s helped me through some horrendous times; but wouldn’t it be amazing if the life you were living was enough, that you had all that could possibly need without slipping into someone else’s reality.

I don’t believe it’s possible to remove our desire for escapism, it’s just not how we were designed. The world would be a duller place without the generations of great story tellers, who have transported us and helped our spirits soar, whatever their choice of medium.

Science and technology is credited with the success of humans, our ability to create and solve problems; but maybe it’s really down to our imaginations and our ability to withstand the challenges and suffering we face, by emotionally escaping real life, if only for a short while.

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I’ve been busy this week promoting the Virtual Valentine’s Day Party and yesterday I did an interview with Emma Knights, a really nice reporter from the local newspapers – The EDP and Evening News. We had a chat over the phone and she was really impressed with the idea and excited about the forthcoming London holiday – news of that coming soon! Emma organised for a photographer to visit today to take some shots ready for the article which should hoepfully be in tomorrow (Saturday 11th) or Monday (13th) paper.

Fortunately I’d been thinking about how to do a visual representation of the virtual Valentine’s Day Party for the photograph. Since we’re having a tea party we got out a tea pot, some heart mugs and I’ve got a beautiful rose wreath which I put a big candle inside. You can see the Valentine’s Cookies on the table which is one of the recipes for the tea party. I decided to wear a red jumper with my new heart necklace to carry the theme on. I’d even done a practise shot earlier in the week in case I needed a picture. Here it is…

Virtual Valentine's Day - Claire Wade Holidays From Home

I think the reporter was rather relived when he arrived, beacuse he said it was hard dealing with stories about online or digital news because there’s only so many ways you can photograph a person and a computer. Maybe I have a future in set design – I certainly enjoyed planning the shot and thinking what I would need.

The man was really nice and I coudln’t believe he was only here for about seven minutes! He really put me at my ease; but it’s amazing how you suddenly forget how to do simple things like smile or even look straight at a camera. It’s like I had to tell all my muscles in my face what to do. It felt very odd!

Fingers crossed it’s a good photograph, it’s hard not being in control of what they use; but I trust that they’ll find a good one and if it helps to publicise Holidays From Home and the Virtual Valentine’s Day Party it will all be worth it!

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I love snow! As in love, love snow. I have ever since I was little and it still has the same magical effect on me. Watching it fall, seeing the constant stream of light, dancing flakes glide past the window, still fills me with the same joy and excitement.  At the same time it also has a very calming, soothing effect, the way watching the waves of the sea does. Maybe it’s the counter-balance to my fiery nature, who knows?!

I’ve been waiting for snow this winter, hoping that we’d get some and last night it started. I know snow gets a bad reputation, especially in the UK where everything comes to a grinding halt in bad weather; but this is one of the definite advantages of being mainly house bound. I don’t have to worry about going out into, except for a wander in the garden. I can stay cuddled up inside, while everyone else has to deal with the traffic, the delays, the icy wetness.  I don’t mean to sound smug, it’s just there’s very few advantages of not being able to get out much, I like to enjoy them when they come along.

Right now I’m sitting at my desk, looking out at the snow which is coming down in a rapid, powdery sheet, like rain’s prettier cousin. It’s like watching little feathers or tiny fairies getting carried down the road, racing to see who can go furthest, float lightest and then land fastest. I’ve watched as the road disappeared and the layer of white crept its way up to the curb. Almost to the top now. I’m hoping that the cars all stay tucked up in the garages, so nothing disturbs the perfect, sparkling white blanket. It makes everything look different, more beautiful and magical.

I love the silence that snow brings, the stillness in the air, the muffled sounds of the world. It’s as if everything is holding its breath in awe of this natural wonder. So I’m happy to sit here and watch the snow fall, while I sip on my nice warm mug of hot chocolate!

The question is, what do you do when it’s cold and snowy outside? Do you have any special traditions? Things you like to do, foods you eat? Having hot chocolate is one of mine and this is a delicious recipe and so easy to make.

Hot Chocolate

Serves 1
Contains Dairy

Vegetarian

Ingredients

• 25g (1 oz) of good-quality plain or bitter-sweet chocolate(Bournville is my favourite)
• 1 cup milk

Instructions

1. Heat one cup of milk in the microwave or in a pan over the stove.
2. Mix the chocolate in and stir until dissolved.
3. Serve with marshmallows, whipped cream or grated chocolate on top.

Hot Chocolate by Adam Burt Flickr

From Easy to Swallow – Recipes for people with eating, chewing and swallowing problems.

(My other hat on for that site and my very first website! It looks rather basic now, I think I might have to do an update, when I find a few extra hours in the day and spare energy!)

I’d love to know what you do during the cold weather? Or if you’re in the southern hemisphere how are you coping with the heat?

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Valentine’s Day can be really difficult if you’re single­­. It’s even harder if you’re house bound because of illness or disability. Instead of feeling the love, you end up feeling very alone.

What do you do if you’re ill or disabled and are unable to go out to have fun? If you’re bored of being stuck at home, sick of the same four walls?

The solution – you bring the party to you and Holidays From Home is doing just that with their new range of virtual parties, designed to break the isolation and monotony, by creating a fun, relaxing experience at home.

Claire Wade from Norwich, founder of Holidays From Home said “I came up with the idea because I was bed bound for six years with severe ME. I know how hard it is when the world is celebrating and you feel so left out.”

On 14^th February, Holidays From Home will be throwing a Virtual Valentine’s Day Party, celebrating friendship and love around the world; but party goers never leave the comfort of their own home.

Instead they get exclusive access to the online virtual party area, where they can download and print all the digital party content. This includes fun things to do at home like easy Valentine’s recipes, craft ideas, fun trivia about Valentine’s Day and suggestions of films to watch and music to listen to.  The party will give them a Valentine’s Day to remember.

The party goers also receive two virtual experiences, a virtual tea party in a rose garden and some virtual archery, Cupid style. They come as an e-book or audio download and are similar to guided meditations; but are much more exciting. It takes the reader or listener on a journey through the imagination, helping them to relax and have fun.

More information on the party go here …

The last virtual party was for New Year’s Eve and attendees all said how much they enjoyed the night. Many used Facebook and Twitter to keep in touch during the evening, sharing the party with other people made it that much more real.

“I must admit I wasn’t sure about signing up for the party, as I don’t like New Year much and the thought of doing something seemed a bit of an effort. I’m so glad I did though, as it was great. My family joined in with me and we all enjoyed it.” commented one young woman.

“No one should feel alone at any time of the year; but it’s often worse during public holidays,” Claire said. “I want to use my experiences to help others have a good time, despite the daily challenges they face.

The virtual parties and holidays focus on escaping reality for a little while, returning feeling more relaxed and with lots of happy memories.”

www.holidaysfromhome.co.uk

Holidays From Home’s aim is to break down the isolation and loneliness of living with an illness or disability. To help people find ways to enjoy life and so they don’t feel like the rest of the world is leaving them out.

For further information: Contact us

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